L'amour a la vanille

同 じ空の下で 同じ夢を描き


    || - | - | - | posted by スポンサードリンク - -
    Tell me why
      Tell me why am I still working so hard for something I know is impossible. This isn't even being pessimistic anymore. At the start, I thought there was some sort of hope..a glimmer of light maybe. That was all...an act of my desperation to look for something to keep me going..now that I think about it. I knew for a long..a very long time that what I've been doing..what I've done has destroyed that so-called dream. I wanted something else because I couldn't see myself in that place...cause I can't do it. I can't go that high with where I am back then..and let alone now.

      If I see it as such an impossible task, then why do I still....

      It's not because this is something I have to do anymore. No one does anything they know they dislike. I know I enjoy what I am doing right now. I like every bloody part of it. The idea that because of my mistakes in the past...the person that I am...that have shattered the path I dream of walking.

      I can't speak to people...I can only. Through here.

      God knows why I have this wonderful ability to have a completely blank mind when those important things happen. When I don't say a thing...its not because I don't have the words...I just become totally incapable of forming any form of sentence in my head.

      It infuriates me..really. When he said that I should just go to any random course and stay in the country. I wanted to say so much against that. So much. But nothing comes to mind when I want to. I cannot explain..the things going through me to another human being. I need a translator for my brain waves?

      Why is it that when I talk to someone other than them..those people seem to understand all that I am going through more than them? Maybe it's because we are going through the same predicament.

      Time is running out, I know that perfectly well. But here I remain...not wanting to look at what I am about to face. Not wanting to look at anything related to that more than possible.

      I give myself excuses..saying things will turn up eventually when I know they aren't. They will never.

      I admit it. I just want to run away. never turn back and spend a life without caring about tomorrow.

      Hip Hip Hurray for incoherent thoughts running at full speed through my head.

      I shall have my 3rd glass now.
      |22:32| Everyday Life | comments(1) | trackbacks(0) | posted by rozenvelt - -
        |22:32| - | - | - | posted by スポンサードリンク - -


        posted by まろまゆ | 2010/12/19 5:30 AM |
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